This is a very interesting article I stumbled upon while rummaging for articles for my “The I Do Project series”. Read on and let’s see if like me you’d end up thinking very deeply…
Dear Seth,
You’re only three years old, and at this
point in your life you can’t read, much less understand what I’m going to try
to tell you in this letter. But I’ve been thinking a lot about the life that
you have ahead of you, about my life so far as I reflect on what I’ve learned,
and about my role as a dad in trying to prepare you for the trials that you
will face in the coming years.
You won’t be able to understand this letter
today, but someday, when you’re ready, I hope you will find some wisdom and
value in what I share with you.
You are young, and life has yet to take its
toll on you, to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles
and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of
thankless work, by the slings and arrows of everyday life.
For this, be thankful. You are at a
wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come,
but they are not without their costs and perils.
I hope to help you along your path by
sharing some of the best of what I’ve learned. As with any advice, take it with
a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.
Life Can Be Cruel
There will be people in your life who won’t be very nice. They’ll tease you because you’re different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.
There will be people in your life who won’t be very nice. They’ll tease you because you’re different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.
There’s not much you can do about these
people except to learn to deal with them, and learn to choose friends who are
kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about
yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them,
spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.
There will be times when you are met with
disappointment instead of success. Life won’t always turn out the way you want.
This is just another thing you’ll have to learn to deal with. But instead of
letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to
persevere, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls. Learn to turn negatives into
positives, and you’ll do much better in life.
You will also face heartbreak and
abandonment by those you love. I hope you don’t have to face this too much, but
it happens. Again, not much you can do but to heal, and to move on with your
life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things in life, and
learn to use them to make you stronger.
But Be Open to Life Anyway
Yes, you’ll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don’t let that close you to new things. Don’t retreat from life, don’t hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.
Yes, you’ll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don’t let that close you to new things. Don’t retreat from life, don’t hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.
You might get your heart broken 10 times,
but find the most wonderful woman the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from
love, you’ll miss out on that woman, and the happiest times of your life.
You might get teased and bullied and hurt by
people you meet … and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend.
If you close yourself off to new people, and don’t open your heart to them,
you’ll avoid pain … but also lose out on meeting some incredible people, who
will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the
best times of your life.
You will fail many times but if you allow
that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of
success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments. Failure is a
stepping stone to success.
Life Isn’t a Competition
You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work. They’ll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler gadgets. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than their peers to be happy.
You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work. They’ll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler gadgets. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than their peers to be happy.
Here’s a secret: life isn’t a competition.
It’s a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to
outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey.
Make it a journey of happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement,
of love.
Don’t worry about having a nicer car or
house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters a
whit, and none of it will make you happier. You’ll acquire these things and
then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough — and
then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those
things … use that time doing things you love.
Find your passion, and pursue it doggedly.
Don’t settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job
you hate.
Love Should Be Your Rule
If there’s a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there’s no better rule in life.
If there’s a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there’s no better rule in life.
Some would live by the rule of success.
Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow.
Others would live by the rule of selfishness
— putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives, and
will also be unhappy.
Still others will live by
the rule of righteousness — trying to show the right path, and admonishing
anyone who doesn’t live by that path. They are concerned with others, but in a
negative way, and in the end will only have their own righteousness to live
with, and that’s a horrible companion.
Live your life by the rule of love. Love
your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, with all of your heart.
Give to them what they need, and show them not cruelty nor disapproval nor
coldness nor disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to them.
Love not only your loved ones, but your
neighbors … your coworkers … strangers … your brothers and sisters in humanity.
Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping hand.
Love not only neighbors and strangers … but
your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you …
love him. He is a tortured soul, and most in need of your love.
And most of all, love yourself. While others
may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re
ugly or dumb or unworthy of love … but to think instead that you are a wonderful
human being, worthy of happiness and love … and learn to love yourself for who
you are.
Finally, know that I love you and always
will. You are starting out on a weird, scary, daunting, but ultimately
incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be there for you when I can. Godspeed.
Love,
Your Dad
At the onset of reason I have resolved to embrace an ultimate goal in Life. To be happy.
Happiness
encompasses all aspects about living but one that is not very easy to achieve.
And I am certain a lot of you have worked on this same ultimate mission. And
how do we fair?
After
reading I realized if this is the way to achieving that goal of peace,
contentment and happiness then this means I am still way too far from home. I
have to catch up.
Once
again I am reminded of some very obvious things which I indomitably refused to
acknowledge. Admittedly, I am guilty to several of the stages mentioned. Being
hard on oneself is among the many notable ones. Though I have very-slowly-learned
to tame myself a little, still there would be days when the mighty thoughts
would deliberately point you a certain direction saying; this is where you should be and what you should be doing, you should aim for perfection; this is what’s right, what’s good and what’s proper.
Sometimes
it’s just really tiring to argue with myself. It’s tiring to always have to
fall way below my own standards and my own expectations. “You know self I can
never be perfect, accept it and just be happy with your imperfect self…So now
I’m telling you, to look in the mirror and shout at yourself and say YOU
ARE FLAWED!!! then smile your prettiest, move away from the mirror and decide
just live life the way it should be lived”.
Ohh
Monday drama...But don’t worry let's not dwell on it.*wink,wink*.Happy Monday.Yeah!=)
Live
Life!
Mai
**** Zen Habits is really a great read. Visit their site for more positive vibes.=)
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